Appetizing Muse

Since the day began with unhealthy food, it might as well end with the same - adrift with dichotomy in motion.

The broccoli/rice long gone and the spice cake safely tucked away, Wilbert baked a Red Baron pizza for dinner. I shouldn't complain because at least he cooked something. I've found if I eat "junk" food for more than two days, I start to feel sluggish and nauseated. This usually leads me to dump the junk and consume what I prefer: salads; steamed or baked chicken, rice, vegetables and lots of non-sweetened hot tea and coffee.

Wilbert has no such hankerings. I've never known one person who can eat heavy, greasy food day after day. It might be a reflection of his diabetes in that he wants and craves what is bad for him, just like a child. This morning for breakfast he had six buttered biscuits, four scrambled eggs mixed with cubed potato, two sliced hot dogs and chili peppers. I'd literally keel over if I ate that way. The food array is sickening to my palate - especially the eggs. However, my husband eats this way every day, knowing he has made the worst possible food choices.

Since I don't have diabetes, I cannot claim to understand his particular mind-set. There are times he rails against the disease, telling me he's tired of it and wants to eat what he wants without having to worry. On these particular occasions, he will consume more than his usual junk fare, as if trying to "show" his diabetes he can do as he chooses. The problem with that, of course, is he is only hurting himself.

I have diabetic cookbooks galore. Wilbert has tried several recipes but always returns to his standard plate of breads, tortillas and other fats. Once in a great while he will apply the brakes and eat sensibly, but only for about two weeks at a stretch. Sometimes I think he eats poorly in the hopes I'll take pity and cook his every meal. I happen to believe he is an adult quite capable of taking care of himself (having just celebrated his forty-eighth birthday), and I will not be forced into becoming his nurse-maid or calorie-counter. Besides, we have very dissimilar tastes in food and the way in which it is prepared. I can't envision myself in the kitchen cooking two different meals for each sitting. I simply don't have the time or interest, and as I said before, he is quite capable.

Baking a cake this morning was probably not a good idea, but just because it's there doesn't mean it has to be consumed in one day. So far, Wilbert has managed to steer clear from having more than one piece, which I consider a good sign. Maybe he does have a breaking point, although I highly doubt he'll ever convert to my desired way of eating.

Red Baron pizza might not be the best choice in the world for dinner, either. If I had taken over and prepared my type of food (steamed meat and veggies), he would have simply grabbed a handful of flour tortillas and a tub of butter to spoil the good eats.

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